The Mystery of the Men’s Room Changing Table

The Holy Grail

Although society as a whole has become reasonably progressive about what duties are for moms and dads (basically, if it’s not breastfeeding, both parents can do it), there is still one area of parenthood that is still apparently sitting somewhere comfortably in the middle of the 20th century. I am, of course, talking about the lack of changing tables in men’s bathrooms. Seriously, in 2015, I would guess over half of men’s rooms still have no changing tables. I understand if your 21 and up club doesn’t have this high-tech amenity, but I’m talking about places like bookstores, restaurants, play parks, etc. You know, places dad may just want to spend some time with the kids.

Frankly, I don’t understand this phenomenon. It’s not like dads don’t change diapers at home, or that it is even that big of a deal. Installing these magical artifacts of diaper changing bliss is hardly a major expense. I love daddy and daughter days out, but diaper time is generally miserable, and it’s not because of the diaper. Way too often you enter men’s room when the five stages of grief kick in…
1) Denial – “This is a decent place, they probably have a changing table, there is no way this place doesn’t have a changing table, I must be missing it. I am not changing her on this floor, and there is no counter space…”
2) Anger – “WHY DON’T THEY HAVE A CHANGING TABLE? DOES NO CHILD POOP IN THIS STORE? THIS IS &$^$&*# RIDICULOUS! THIS FLOOR IS FILTHY, WHY ARE THERE STANDING POOLS OF WATER?”

3) Bargaining – “I would buy all the toys in aisle six if a changing table magically appeared. Seriously, all of aisle 6, and the trucks from aisle eleven.”

4) Depression – “I remember a happier world, a world where I didn’t have to try to keep a fidgeting two year old on this 2′ x 2′ orange pad that may or not be protecting her from the elements creeping off this vile floor. The elements that she obviously must try to touch…”
5) Acceptance – “It’s done, you’ve been changed, probably for the worse.”

4 Comments on “The Mystery of the Men’s Room Changing Table

  1. I now understand why Brian just headed to the car to change a diaper instead of the closest bathroom (or he was REALLY proficient at changing them in the stroller/carrier with a blanket for a privacy shield).

  2. I now understand why Brian just headed to the car to change a diaper instead of the closest bathroom (or he was REALLY proficient at changing them in the stroller/carrier with a blanket for a privacy shield).

  3. If the car is too far away, I will ask if there is one in the women's room and will use that. I went to Bickford's in Leominster and the waitress told me they didn't have any because the manager thought they were unsanitary! So of course I changed her right on the table.

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